What’s My Name?

I didn’t change my name when I got married. I did this for a variety of reasons, the most important being that I didn’t want to. Mr. Lollipop left it up to me from the beginning, and even more so when he realized that my first name with his last name would rhyme just like ‘Julia Guglia’ from the Wedding Singer. My in-laws and my parents have been supportive of this decision as they have been of all of our other decisions. (They rock!) Finally, we have a baby naming plan that satisfies all concerned parties. Really, I had the least controversial name non-change, ever.

I prefer to be called Ms. MyLastname or Ms. MyLastname-HisLastname. Both work just fine for me. Collectively, we are the MyLastname-HisLastnames, and that was exactly how we were announced at the end of our ceremony. To further clarify matters, we added a note to our program indicating the non-name change and were announced under our own names at the reception.

Unfortunately, in the aftermath of our wedding it seems like only a few of our family members caught these name change clues. Our friends are young and savvy and only a few assumed that I kept my name, but we’ve been getting lots of checks, invitations, and letters to my non-existent married name, especially from my side of the family tree. Perhaps thank you cards and Christmas cards will be the best vehicle for a subtle reminder, with a polite phone call to some of the repeat offenders. It’s very tempting to add a little card with a graph explaining our whole naming system, but I’m afraid it might be seen as too blunt.

In most cases, I don’t see it as a big deal, but there are times where I am nervous about getting a big check addressed to a name that never existed. On the other had, I will admit to fantasizing about taking anything addressed to Mrs. HisFirstname Hislastname and returning it marked as addressee unknown.

For changers and non-changers alike, how did you let everyone know what you would be called after the wedding? What did you do with people who didn’t seem to get it?

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