Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

Really?! It’s Our Anniversary?

Monday, September 1st, 2008

It’s official. Mr. Lollipop and I have been married for a whole year. I’m not even done writing about our wedding and we’re already back at the same place in our orbit around the sun. (Kids, if you ever want to finish what you started never take a job at a start-up. That goes double if you’re the only one with your job title.)

Plus, I think we have about 10 thank you cards left to write. Crud. I hope Emily Post doesn’t decide to haunt us. They’re also the awkward thank you cards, the ones for people who bought us things that we can’t quite identify.

“Dear Aunt Bea,

Thank you for the…umm…trivet? wall medallion? bumpy plate? We will treasure it always.

Love,
The Lollipops”

Mr. Lollipop keeps on talking about how this has been the fastest year of his life; I can’t help but agree. I’m really happy being married, and I really like being able to say ‘my husband’. It just has so much more impact than saying ‘my boyfriend’; it’s so much more…permanent. “I’ll ask my husband” sounds like a much better deflection than “I’ll ask my boyfriend.”

Actually, this is turning into an anniversary week. Mr Lollipop has a surprise trip planned for this weekend and I’ll be blindfolded for most of the drive. He also wrote a poem and did a lovely origami reenactment of our wedding day, which was perfect for our paper anniversary (see above picture).

For my part, I gave him a book of photos, including a few that he can look back in the years to come and remember when I had abs. I also chalked up the front steps with happy messages.

What’s My Name?

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

I didn’t change my name when I got married. I did this for a variety of reasons, the most important being that I didn’t want to. Mr. Lollipop left it up to me from the beginning, and even more so when he realized that my first name with his last name would rhyme just like ‘Julia Guglia’ from the Wedding Singer. My in-laws and my parents have been supportive of this decision as they have been of all of our other decisions. (They rock!) Finally, we have a baby naming plan that satisfies all concerned parties. Really, I had the least controversial name non-change, ever.

I prefer to be called Ms. MyLastname or Ms. MyLastname-HisLastname. Both work just fine for me. Collectively, we are the MyLastname-HisLastnames, and that was exactly how we were announced at the end of our ceremony. To further clarify matters, we added a note to our program indicating the non-name change and were announced under our own names at the reception.

Unfortunately, in the aftermath of our wedding it seems like only a few of our family members caught these name change clues. Our friends are young and savvy and only a few assumed that I kept my name, but we’ve been getting lots of checks, invitations, and letters to my non-existent married name, especially from my side of the family tree. Perhaps thank you cards and Christmas cards will be the best vehicle for a subtle reminder, with a polite phone call to some of the repeat offenders. It’s very tempting to add a little card with a graph explaining our whole naming system, but I’m afraid it might be seen as too blunt.

In most cases, I don’t see it as a big deal, but there are times where I am nervous about getting a big check addressed to a name that never existed. On the other had, I will admit to fantasizing about taking anything addressed to Mrs. HisFirstname Hislastname and returning it marked as addressee unknown.

For changers and non-changers alike, how did you let everyone know what you would be called after the wedding? What did you do with people who didn’t seem to get it?